Friday, June 17, 2011

I really love it when you get deep into blogs. Reading every word, opening every link and just keep going until you realize that you've spent hours online! I stumbled upon this blog Marvelous Kiddo. Leigh Pennebaker who writes the blog is what I'd like to call a maternity guru. Alot like A cup of Jo. I found this amazing quote tucked deep into her blog archives and just had to share it!

Right now:
There are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness.
Someone you haven't met yet is already dreaming of adoring you.
Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life.
Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God's children.
A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, "nourish them."
Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favourite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you -- for free.
Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on.
The next great song is being rehearsed.
Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth.
Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way.
Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.
Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."
Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche -- this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you.
Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest.
Someone is fighting the fight so that you don't have to.
Some civil servant is making sure that you get your mail, and your garbage is picked up, that the trains are running on time, and that you are generally safe. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water.
Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable.

It's just so amazing and incredibly thought-provoking.

This down here really meant alot to me...
Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they'll be thriving like never before. They just can't see it from where they're at.
Someone who is craving to be partnered, to be acknowledged, to ARRIVE, will get precisely what they want -- and even more. And because that gift will be so fantastical in it's reach and sweetness, it will quite magically alter their memory of angsty longing and render it all "So worth the wait."

....Because recently me and my best friend "broke up" or quit or whatever you want to say. We drifted apart from eachother. For me it was the right thing, we were besties but I never enjoyed her as one. I felt like the disposable friend. I was there for her when she needed me and she knew that, she took advantage, spent more time with other girls than me and I realized so late, I really regret that. We had been friends for over 5 years when I thought "What am I getting out of this relationship?" and sadly the answer was nothing. I took the decision to broaden my group of friends, talk to new people and enjoy myself. Just what she had been doing unconsiously the whole time. I know she was sad when she realized what was happening and my friends who were also her friends told me that she was asking them all the time what had happened, why I wasn't there anymore. She had gotten so used to just having me there and didn't see what she was doing wrong. It's been a year now, we still talk but I regret everyday that I didn't open my eyes and see what was happening. We never talked about what had happened. I don't really want to.
And tha past year has been hard in some ways but truly amazing in others. I socialized so much more and found me some great people to hang with. I found alot of groups of girls that I liked and I kind of hung with them all, not attaching myself to any one of them. That was partly because I just didn't really like what I found. The girls I started hanging out were great but I just didn't fit with them when it cames to being the best friend you always call and see everyday. I just didn't find that one girl. Now that it's summer and school is over I don't have any more reasons why I hang out with them. It isn't I go to school with her anymore, and I don't have the we're besties reason so I am kind of shy to just call them up and asked them to do something. It's weird and complicated. I just really miss the feeling of being yourself with a person, no worries, no guilt. Guilt is something that shouldn't be in a relationship. I have experienced it over and over feeling guilty about what my best friend might think of me hanging out with this girl. It just shouldn't be that way. 

And this is why I truly wish and hope that this someone is me. I hope in a couple months I will look back and think it was so worth it. I've tried everything and this is one of the few things I can do. I still can't help thinking that everything happens for a reason and that there is some reason why I haven't found a best friend yet. I can't come up with anything but I just have to hope. I guess that's what we all have to do.

Love Always.

P.S. Sorry guys I just really needed a moment to pour my heart out and my feelings with. I decided this was the right place to do so. I love the freedom of blogging. No judging just all saying what you think and like. Because chance are there are a billion people out there that feel the same way you do.

2 comments:

  1. Love your blog and how in depth it is. I'm now officially following!!!


    Lola x
    http://lola-x.blogspot.com

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  2. Hello,
    I loved your blog! It is so cute...
    I am following, sure...
    Can you follow me too???
    I would be very happy!
    Kisses
    Alice
    http://thecutepearl.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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